Scars and Smiles
by pastelroses
Summary: Maria cant take it no more,so she starts to cut herself. She has finally found the thing that can take her pain away. But what happens when Michael finds out? will he finally say his feelings to Maria!
1. First Cut Starts The Habit

Scars and Smiles

By Jenn

Chapter 1 First Cut Starts The Habit

The rain fell down in heavy sheets as the tiny rain drops splattered against Maria's bedroom window. Maria led on her comfy bed trying to enter dream land so she could sleep peacefully. But the rain kept on falling down, hitting her roof causing an echoing throughout her house. She really wanted to fall asleep because the numerous thoughts that were inside her head were awaking. She didn't want to think about anything. She wanted to fall asleep. But that never happened. Every night she would always think about Michael and how he treated her. She would also ask herself why she stayed around in Roswell to help the aliens. Protecting the aliens had became her life. Right now she wanted her life back. She wanted to do her own thing, she wanted to sing. The only thing that was stopping her from leaving was Michael. Even though he treated her like crap, her heart belonged to him.

Maria got up from her bed, walked over to her window and closed it. As she passed her desk, she saw something that glistened in the moonlight. She looked down and saw her pink razor. Maria stared at the razor, like she was frozen in time. She knew it was wrong but she needed to escape. She grabbed the razor and walked quickly to the bathroom. She locked the door behind her and headed to the sink. Maria stared at her own reflection, longing to find the answers to all her problems. Instead she found a young girl who was hanging by a thread. She grazed the razor along her skin, until the temptation go too much. She dug the razor into her flesh. She grimaced at the pain but soon smiled. It felt good. She dropped the razor into the sink and watched the trail of red crimson blood run down her arm. Then she hear her mom faintly cough as she rinsed off the razor. She rinsed off her arm and placed a white bandage over it. Then she went back to her bed, smiling as she drifted off into a peaceful dream.

Sorry it was short, chapter 2 is longer and is coming right up!

Chapter 2 She Can't Hide It Forever

The golden sun woke up Maria as its bright rays entered


	2. She Can't Hide It Forever

Chapter 2 She Can't Hide It Forever

The golden sun woke up Maria as its bright rays entered her glass windows showering her with sun light. She sat up and stretched her arms. She saw the white bandage on her arm and remembered last night. Maria took off the bandage and looked at the fresh deep scars. She hoped no one would notice them at work. She got up, pulled on a pair of jeans and a baby blue long sleeved shirt. She arranged her long blonde hair in a pony tail and walked downstairs.

" Hey Sweetie! I made you pancakes for breakfast. I thought you would need a full tummy for your shift at the Crash down today! Saturday's are cruel!" Maria's mom said as she placed a plateful of pancakes on the kitchen table.

" Thank you mom. I like busy days though, because then I'm never bored." Maria replied as she sat down on a wooden chair.

_The more busier the safer my scars would be. _She thought to herself.

She ate the pancakes, said good bye to her mom and grabbed the keys to the car. Maria went outside and drove to the Crash Down.

The parking lot was packed when Maria arrived. It was even more packed inside the small restaurant as Maria went in the back to change into her blue alien uniform. She put on a blue sweater that she found in her locker over top in order to hide her scars.

" What's the matter Deluca? Cold?" Liz Parker, Maria's best friend said as she chuckled.

" Yeah a little!" Maria replied hiding the real reason from her best friend.

" Well you will bet warmed up in no time! The Crash Down is packed!" Liz said as she reached for Maria's scared arm which was her right arm.

Maria winced when Liz's hand touched her scars.

" What's wrong Maria?" Liz asked concerned for her best friend.

" Nothing Liz, everything is fine." Maria said boldly.

Liz didn't believe her and lifted her sleeve up. She couldn't believe what she saw. Scars. Fresh scars.

" What happened?" Liz asked.

" I cut myself. I'm fine Liz don't worry. But your dad won't be fine when he realizes we are talking instead of working!" Maria said as she pulled down her sleeve and walked to the front.

Liz knew Maria was lying. But why would Maria lie to her. Some was definalty wrong with Maria. Liz frowned as she followed Maria into the front.

Everything was going smoothly that afternoon until Michael started his shift cooking in the back. Seeing Michael caused some emotions to stir as every chance she got, she let her frustration out.

" Michael I haven't got all day. So would you hurry up and make that hamburger I asked for?" Maria yelled.

" Oh I'm sorry I'm slow, But I think people want to eat actual cooked food!" Michael said as he put the hamburger patty on a bun, put the dressings on it and handed it to her.

" There you go! Next time you cook them. I would like to see how fast you are!" Michael said as he went back to cooking.

" At least I don't treat people like crap!" Maria yelled as she picked up the hamburger and walked away.

Michael sighed and shook his head.

After Maria had given the hamburger to an old lady, she tried to relax. But Michael had got her so worked up. She had to escape. She told Liz that she was going on her break, stole a sharp knife from Michael's cooking table and walked into the small bathroom. The door locked behind her with a click.


	3. Fresh New Scars Heals New Wounds

Chapter 3 Fresh New Scars Heal New Wounds

The cold blade of the knife soothed her body as soon as it touched her pale skin. One cut became 5 as soon her whole right arm was covered in blood. Her mind was telling her to stop but her body was telling her to keep on going. It felt so good to be in control of something in her life.

All of a sudden there was a loud bang on the bathroom door.

" Maria, I need your help with all the orders!" Liz's voice said from the other side of the door.

" Alright, I'll be right out!" Maria replied back.

Maria quickly rinsed off her arm and the knife. She hid the knife behind the garbage can beside the sink and wrapped a couple of layers of Kleenex around her wounds. Then she unlocked the door and met Liz in the front.

Liz was right. The Crash Down had gotten more packed since Maria had been in the bathroom.

The two young girls were so busy that Maria didn't notice that she had forgotten to put her sleeve down to cover her scars. The good thing was, Liz was to preoccupied to notice. But someone had. That someone was Michael.

"Michael I need two fries and an Alien Blast hamburger!" Maria said to Michael.

" Yes Maim!" Michael said glancing down to see Kleenex soaked in blood, tied around her wrist. What happened to her? He thought. Then he became mad as he wondered if some guy had hurt her. Not his Maria, No one could touch her. His eyes became fierce and cold.

" You okay Michael?" Maria asked noticing the emotions changing in his eyes.

" I am, but you're not! What happened to your arm?" Michael asked, all of his attention focused on her.

Maria glanced down to see bloody Kleenex wrapped around her arm. She cursed to herself for forgetting to pull her sleeve down.

" Nothing Michael!" She said quickly as she pulled her sleeve down.

"That isn't nothing Maria! You should get it checked out!" Michael said trying to pull her sleeve down so he could get a better look.

Maria pulled away

" Since when do you care about me? An alien could kill me and you wouldn't give a shit!" She yelled as crystal tears formed in her eyes.

" You know that isn't true!" Michael said as he gave her the food that was ready.

" Yeah it is, You just wont admit it to me!" Maria yelled as she carried the hot food into the front.

Michael felt that he had just gotten punched in the stomach. If Maria had died, He didn't know what he would do. He would die without having his Maria in his life. He was worried about her and he knew that he had to find out what it was before it was too late.


	4. Whats Wrong With Her?

Chapter 4 What is wrong with her?

By 3:00 the Crash Down began to slow down as the 10 costumers turned into 5. The pace grew slow giving Maria and Liz a well deserved break. They all knew that by 5:00 the Crash Down would be busy again, luckily the girls both got off at 3:30.

"So what are you doing tonight?" Liz asked Maria as she poured both of them a nice cold glass of ice tea. While she was doing that, she noticed Michael staring at Maria.

"Oh probably nothing, I'm just going to relax." Maria said as she took a nice gulp of her drink.

Liz nodded her head and then elbowed her in the side.

"Ouch, what was that for?" Maria asked

" You're sure you're not doing anything tonight?" She asked.

" Yeah why?" Maria asked again.

" Because Michael is staring at you, like he is waiting to pounce on you and get it on!" Liz said as she chuckled to herself.

Maria faked a laugh and looked over at Michael. They're eyes met, then she turned her head away. She knew the real reason why he was staring at her as she looked down at her arms.

" I'm sure Liz, We don't have anything planned tonight!" Maria said as she finished her ice tea and went to the back, to gather up all of her stuff. Liz followed behind her.

" Oh well tell me if anything does happen. I'm off I have to get ready for my date with Max!" Liz said.

" I will! Have fun, be back by 11 sharp!" Maria laughed as she grabbed her bag and headed out of the back door.

Maria's house was silent and empty. It felt like a church without all of the people. It was dark and surprisingly very cold. She shrugged her shoulders and checked the messages. There was one from her mom saying she wouldn't be home till real late. Maria sighed. She was alone again. She ran upstairs, put her bag down and laid on her bed. She began thinking about her problem, trying to find an answer. She didn't know what was wrong with her, or why she started cutting. All she knew was that it felt like it was her against the world. The person she cared about most, now didn't give a damn about her. Max and Liz couldn't help her, they were too much into their own perfect dream land. She wouldn't try with Isabel, and she didn't want to talk to Kyle about her problems. She was alone. Alone to face her demons. What would Alex say to her now? He would be speechless, seeing his strong Maria week and fragile. Alex. She thought as a tear trickled down her face, remembering her other best friend who was killed by Tess. Anger and sadness weren't a good solution as Maria sat up on her bed. Now more then ever, she needed to escape, maybe for good.

She walked into the bathroom and found the razor, where she had left it. She placed it on her skin and began to cut. Instead of making little scars, she made bigger ones. Deeper ones. The red blood trickled down her arm, gathering in the sink. Maria began to get dizzy as her body swayed back and forth. She could faintly hear a small knocking from her room but then she collapsed on the ground. If Maria had went in her room, she would have found Michael knocking on her window.


	5. Come and Rescue Her

Chapter 5- Come and Rescue her

Michael was standing outside, knocking on Maria's glass bedroom window. After seeing the cuts on Maria's arm at the Crash Down, he wanted to make sure she was okay. But there was no one in her room. He thought about knocking louder but he didn't want Maria's mom to know that he was in her house. He was just about to turn around, when he saw a neon yellow light coming from the bathroom that was down the hall. It grew brighter and brighter until it was as bright as the sun.

" What is it?" He mumbled to himself.

He took the sign that Maria was there. Then he stood and thought how he was going to help Maria. He looked at his hands, he could use his powers. It was the only way, he didn't care if people saw him he wanted to get to Maria. He put his right hand on the window and concentrated on Maria. He thought of her beauty, her body and how much he loved her. All of a sudden he saw a green light escaped from his hand, then the window broke into tiny pieces.

"Wow I'm good." Michael said to himself as he climbed through the open space. Then he walked quickly to the bathroom, following the light. Once he got to the door, the light burnt out. He knocked on the door. No answer.

" Maria are you in there?" Michael called out. But still there was no answer.

He grabbed the handle and turned it. Surprisingly it wasn't locked as he opened the door. His eyes went wide with shock as he saw the body lying on the ground. The body belonged to Maria. His Maria.

" Maria!" He yelled as he kneeled down beside the lifeless body. He touched her face to feel the coldness of winter traveling up his body. He checked her pulse, thankfully it was still beating.

" Maria please hold on!" He said as he looked down at her arm, which was covered in blood. He hurt deep inside because he knew he couldn't heal her and that Max could. But he also knew Maria needed proper help, so that she could stop her cutting. He got up to see the sink filled with red blood and the razor in the middle. He needed to get help quick. He ran into Maria's room, grabbed her purple phone and dialed 911. Once he made sure an ambulance was on its way, he then phoned Max who was thankfully already home.

" Max, tell Liz and the others to go to the hospital." Michael said.

" Why what's wrong Michael!" he asked.

" It's Maria, Hurry up!" He said as he hung up the phone and went back to Maria. Her arm had stopped bleeding but she was still a mess. He picked her up and carried her downstairs to wait for the ambulance. He placed her gently on the couch. All of sudden the door swung open. There stood Amy Deluca standing in the hallway.


	6. Getting Caught

Chapter 6 Getting Caught

A look of pure horror of fear took over Amy's face, as she saw her only daughter lying motionless on the couch.

" What did you do to her!" Amy yelled at Michael as she ran over to Maria's side.

" I didn't do anything.." Michael said trying to convince her that he was innocent.

Amy just shook he her head in disgust and put her hand on Maria's cheek.

" The Ambulance is on its way." Michael said.

" So you're telling me that you hurt my baby and then you felt bad, so you phoned 9-1-1. Ha, your pathetic! I should have never let Maria see you, but she insisted that you made her happy! I can't believe I bought those lies!" Amy yelled as tears ran down her face.

Michael sighed, he knew Amy would never believe him nor trust him after this.

" You know I would never hurt her!" Michael yelled back. He would die before he let anyone hurt her!

" So you weren't the one who hurt her every night when she came home crying!" Amy yelled.

Michael hung his head low. It was the truth, he had hurt Maria. More then once.

" Oh my god Michael! What did you do to Maria's arm?" Amy asked in shock as she looked at Maria's arm covered in dried blood and deep scars.

" Oh my baby, I told you he was dangerous." She said as she rubbed Maria's arm.

" I DIDN'T DO THAT!" Michael yelled. He was getting frustrated, he would never do that.

" JUST SHUT UP!" Amy yelled more tears falling down her face.

Just then the door swung open again. This time it was two paramedics carrying a stretcher. They said hello, asked a couple of questions and put Maria's body on the stretcher. They did some tests and checked her heart beat. She was still alive.

"Who will be coming with us to the hospital?" one of the paramedics asked.

" I'm going, I am her mother!" Amy said.

" I'm going too! I found her!" Michael said.

Amy eyed Michael but surprisingly let him go with her.

They then walked out of the house and into the back of the Ambulance. The Ambulance drove off into the distance as they drove further away from Maria's house.

The two paramedics carried Maria to the third floor into room B-12. They placed her on the bed and a nurse came in. The nurse attached Maria to monitors and took some more tests. Even though Michael wanted to site by Maria's side, he thought t would be wise if he waited in the waiting room down the hall. So that's where he went, while Amy talked to the nurse.

" I can't believe him. That young man that was just in here, is the one to blame for my daughter's situation!" Amy cried.

The nurse looked at Amy then at Maria's arm. She looked at the scars carefully.

" I'm sorry Miss, but there is no way that, that man could have done this. The angles of the scars, prove that Maria did it herself. They would not be this way if some one had done it to her." The nurse said as she showed the angle line so that Amy could see and understand

" You're daughter tried to commit suicide." The nurse said.

" Suicide?" Amy whispered almost fainting hearing that word. She couldn't believe that Michael didn't do that to her. But he still wasn't off the hook yet.

Amy nodded her head and went to talk to Michael.

" What's wrong with her?" Michael said as she stood up from his seat, he was sitting in.

" She committed suicide!" Amy said, shaking gently.

" WHAT!" Michael questioned. No, not his Maria. His Maria was strong and would never think of suicide!

" You did this to her didn't you!" Amy said. " You made her cut herself!"

" Mrs. Deluca! Maybe I broke her heart, but I only did it so that I wouldn't have to hurt her more! I love Maria and I would DO anything to protect her. And if you don't believe me then fine! But I won't ever change my mind about you're daughter!" Michael said.

Amy stared at Michael like he was talking in a different language. Then she turned around and headed back to Maria's room.

Michael shook his head.

" Why would she do that?" He whispered to himself.

" Michael is Maria okay?" A familiar voice said.

He turned around and saw Liz, Max, Kyle, Isabel and Sheriff Valenti.

Michael took a deep breath.

" She tried to commit suicide!" He said.


	7. Faults

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!! I love you guys!! Don't worry I am working on another chapter- enjoy!

Chapter 7 Faults

Liz Parker's eyes went wide with shock when she heard Michael say that her best friend had tried to commit suicide.

" What!" Liz yelled. She couldn't believe it.

Max, Isabel and Kyle were just as shocked as Liz They were all confused and were thinking why Maria would do such a horrible thing.

" It's all my fault! I should have been more of a friend to her!" Liz cried out.

" No it's my fault! I should have been more nice to her!" Isabel said as she put her hand on Liz's arm.

Then everyone started saying how they were to blame and that it was all their fault for Maria's situation. Michael was getting very angry and frustrated at his friends. It wasn't anyone's fault but his own. It was all his fault that Maria had tried to commit suicide and that she was in the hospital.

" SHUT UP!" Michael yelled.

Everyone stopped talking and looked at Michael.

" No one is to blame but myself!" he said.

Max tried to answer back but Michael continued on.

" Max you have always had Isabel. Liz you have Max and your parents. Kyle you have your dad! I didn't have anyone! Until I met Maria! But I have treated her like shit, and now look at her! I need her, I want her! I will die without her!" Michael yelled!

All of his feelings were coming out and he couldn't stop them.

" You love Liz Max, so why can't I love someone too! I know you understand. I know you would die for Liz, and I would die for Maria! I would do anything for her because she is my angel! I don't care if you think I'm crazy, I'm in love and that's what's important!" Michael said as he turned around and came face to face with the nurse.

" I'm sorry that I startled you, I just wanted to say that Maria has awoken up. She has requested to see Michael." The nurse said.

" I'm Michael." He said.

" Just go on up to her room then." The nurse said.

Michael nodded his head, glanced back to his friends then headed down the hall to Maria's room. While he was walking he tried to figure out, why Maria had wanted to see him. He thought she never wanted to see him again. He never figured out and answer when he reached the brown door leading into Maria's room. He saw Amy Deluca talking to the doctor down the hall as he turned the knob and opened the door. Maria was sitting up in her bed, with her white pillow behind her head. Her long blonde hair was down around her face. Maria was attached up to the monitors which were beeping loudly. Her right arm was wrapped up in a tight white bandage. Michael stared at Maria. Her face was pale and it looked like she had been crying. Even though she wasn't looking her best, she was still beautiful. He walked slowly up to the bed then sat down on the edge. He looked at his feet, He didn't know how he could tell Maria how he felt.

" Why did you want to see me! I thought you hated me!" Michael finally said.

" I needed to talk to you, and tell you I don't hate you." Maria said.

" Well you should hate me!" Michael said.

Maria looked at him.

" I always treat you like crap and push you away from me. But the truth is.." Michael started to say, but he couldn't say how he felt.

" The truth is what?" Maria asked.

" First tell me why you did this to yourself!" Michael asked.

" Ever since you have treated me like crap, I have started feeling bad and left out. Liz wasn't every around and neither were you! Being a girl is tough but having friends who are aliens make it 10 times more tougher! My mom is never home or she is out with Valenti. I just don't want to be alone anymore!" She said as tears starting falling from her eyes.

" I want to be loved." She whispered.

Michael was taken back by Maria's little speech.

He got up and sat right beside Maria. He whipped away the tears that were now free falling down her face. Now was the time to tell Maria how he felt.

" I'm sorry I haven't treated you like I should have. I'm sorry I haven't been there, I'm sorry for pushing you away. The truth is, I love you. I want you and I need you. You are my angel who I need by my side in to order to get through this alien life." Michael said.

Maria gasped with shock. Michael had never said words like that to her before.

" I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore!" Michael said.

" I love you too!" Maria said as she kissed Michael then she hugged him tightly.

" Don't ever let me go!" she said.

" I wouldn't dream of it!" he said to her.


	8. Promises

Chapter 8 Promises

They pulled away from each other smiling.

" Thank you!" Maria said.

Michael gave her a questioning look.

" For saving me. If you hadn't save me I would have died." Maria explained.

" No you would have pulled through. You are strong!" Michael answered back.

" Not without you!" Maria replied.

Michael smiled and kissed Maria again.

" Promise me you wont do this again!" Michael stated very seriously

" I promise. Promise me Michael that you won't ever leave me!" Maria said.

Michael promised her and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before asking her, if she wanted to see everyone. Maria said yes and Michael went to the waiting room to get them. They were all glad to see Maria awake. Liz was ecstatic giving Maria hugs and kisses.

" Don't ever do that again!" Liz said

" I won't, I just felt alone." Maria responded

" Your not alone, you've got us!" Liz yelled happily as she gave Maria another hug.

Then everyone else gave Maria a hug. They talked an laughed together as if nothing had happened and that they were in a hospital for a party. They all realized that they needed each other for the rough times ahead.

The door to Maria's room swung open and Amy Deluca walked in. Everyone stopped talking. Amy smiled and asked if she could talk to Maria alone. Everyone agreed and walked outside. As Maria and Amy were having a mother-daughter talk, Max took Michael aside.

" Michael I do understand. You are my brother, we are family. You are right, I would die for Liz." Max said.

" I know Max." Michael said as he patted Max on the shoulder

" Michael Guerin!" Amy Deluca said as she came out of Maria's room.

" Oh know, what did I do now?" Michael asked himself.

" I'm sorry for saying that it was your fault for Maria's accident. Maria just told me that you saved her and she loves you. Thank you for saving my baby!" Amy said almost in tears.

" Anytime!" Michael said.

Amy ran up to Michael and gave him a hug.

" Thank you!" Amy said again.

" Yeah, Yeah.." Michael said as he felt his cheeks go red.

" I have more good news!" Amy said as she stepped back.

Everyone looked at Amy.

" The doctor said that she can go home today but she has to go to counseling for three months, on every Wednesday." Amy said as she smiled.

" Michael would you help Maria get ready to leave." Amy asked.

Michael nodded his head and went in Maria's room while Liz started talking to Amy.

" Hey are you ready to go home now?" Michael asked Maria.

" Oh yeah! Get me out of here!" Maria yelled.

" Just let me get changed first!" Maria said as she got up. She felt a little faint, but Michael caught her.

" Wow watch yourself there!" Michael said as he put his arm around Maria's shoulder.

Maria smiled lightly, as she walked with Michael to the bathroom.

Then Michael waited for her as she got changed back into her normal clothes. As soon as Maria came back out of the bathroom, Michael put his hands around her waist and helped her walk out of the room.

" Michael can you come over to my house with me?" Maria asked.

" You sure, your mother won't mind?" Michael asked.

" No now she thinks your superman!" Maria said as she laughed.

Michael chuckled.

" MMM superman, I could get used to this!" Michael said as he pulled Maria close.

Michael and Maria made their way in the hall. She told everyone that she would see them tomorrow because she wanted to rest.

" With Michael?" Liz whispered.

Maria smiled and nodded her head. Maria hugged everyone, grabbed Michael's hand and followed Amy out of the hospital. Amy took the hint that Maria wanted to spend time with Michael. They got in the red car and drove off to Maria's house. In the back Maria snuggled up to Michael and smiled.

" I love you!" Michael whispered.

" I love you too!" Maria said.


	9. Happiness Found

Chapter 9 Happiness Is Found

After 15 minutes of driving, their red car finally pulled into their driveway. Michael got out and helped Maria out of the car. He took her up to her room and gently laid her down on her bed. Michael kissed her cheek and headed to her window.

" Michael where are you going?" Maria asked.

" You need you're rest." Michael insisted.

" I want to rest with you! You promised me you would never leave me!" Maria yelled almost in tears.

Michael looked at Maria and smiled. He walked over to he, and slid in beside her. He put his arm around her as Maria snuggled up to him. Maria looked at him and gave him a kiss. Maria let her eyes close as she smiled.

Maria was finally happy, even though her cutting problem wasn't over. She knew people loved her and that life was worth living for. She was Maria Deluca who was finally happy and felt good about herself. No matter what happened next, she knew that she wasn't alone to fight her demons anymore!

The End

Hey thanks to everyone who reviewed: a special thanks to these guys Michaelover101, SlentDrkStlker Serious Fan

Thanks a lot! I will be writing more stories so keep an eye open for me


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